Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Israelites and Me

I met a nice family today...a family that walked into the BB center with their two children. These children very clearly (to me anyway) had Functional Disconnection Syndrome (FDS), a term used by Dr. Melilo, the founder of BB. I looked into the mother's eyes and saw so much pain. I understood her burden. She was holding on and guiding her children through each door. I knew why. They were either "runners" or she was protecting their dignity or both. When I saw them come in, my light shoulders that I have been given the past few months turned heavy, the same heavy I've felt for years; the heavy that feels like you're only taking enough oxygen in to merely live. I felt her pain. I felt her longing for hope, but also wondering if this program would really help her kids or was it just like everything else that makes its way around the autism community. I hope that I will always feel this heavy when I meet someone that is going through trials. I hope that whether or not Hannah comes to life through BB that I can be a catalyst for hope. If she gets better, then I will perhaps annoyingly so, shout from the rooftops sharing the means that God used to heal her. If she does not get better, I will still have enough joy in my heart to help others see help others bear their burdens with courage and hope as well.

I personally had an off week this week. I so soon forgot what the Lord has already done for us. I forgot that miracles (atleast in my mind) have already taken place. The couple mentioned above asked me about Hannah's progress and honestly, I couldn't even at the time name 3 things that she was doing better. I simply forgot! She is doing amazingly well but I couldn't communicate it right away. I have been griping to myself all week and wondering when the next WOW moment was going to be that I couldn't even be thankful for what has already happened. You all know the story...God saves the Israelites from the Egyptians by parting the Red Sea to let them cross and then drowning the Egyptians. Soon after the griping started. We are all disgusted and probably even a little judgmental toward Israel when we hear that story. "I really don't think I would complain so soon after God did such an amazing thing for me", we say. Well, I'm guilty.

All that said, Hannah is still doing well. Three times since that first time, she has told me spontaneously that she loves me. She is taking all her supplements except for one and we are adding that on Saturday. She is so relaxed with her primitive reflex exercises. She left the eye-patch on for 55 minutes straight one day. She is doing other hard things with a great attitude. She put one of Peyton's headbands on and was primping in the mirror by tilting her head and rubbing her hair with her hands. I told her how beautiful she was and she just smiled.

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